I recently heard Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote, ” Things are in the saddle, and ride in mankind.” If you are like most of my clients, you may resonate with this statement. Our cell phones demand more attention than they should.
Whether people of the time embraced or complained about the technological advances, from the mechanical clock to the internet and everything in between, they changed not only our society but also the physical structure of our brains—each generation, hands down, had a different brain than the one before.
Being able to carry around a pocket-sized computer has its advantages. Our mobile devices can keep us safe, connect us to family, friends, and work, give us access to information, and provide entertainment in a few short clicks. But they aren’t all good news. Being constantly connected isn’t mentally healthy.
- Apps are designed to be addictive.
- Using algorithms that feed you content based on your preferences and interactions keeps you engaged and distracted for extended periods.
- This causes an increase in the hunt for the next dopamine hit. Irritability when away from the phone.
- Research has consistently shown a strong link between heavy social media use and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, loneliness, and even suicidal thoughts.
- An increase in strained relationships causes feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
- Decrease in ability to have sustained attention.
- A decrease in productivity leads to guilt or anxiousness.
- Disruptive sleep habits
- High risks of eye damage, hearing loss, involvement in accidents
Neuroscience has proven that infants know that when a mother’s phone is in the room, they don’t have their mother’s full attention. That is shocking! This knowledge affects the infant’s attachment to their primary caregiver. A secure attachment is vital for mental health and future relationships. Neuroscience also tells us our brains are neuroplastic, which means they aren’t fixed. They can grow and change throughout life; you can teach an old dog a new trick!
Neuroplasticity is a blessing and a curse. Hebbian Theory is often summed up as neurons that fire together and wire together. Wired together, neurons allow us to develop positive and undesirable habits, such as playing a piece of music on an instrument by heart and grabbing our cell phones when bored to doom scroll. We can rewire those undesirable habits, but it takes practice.
Low-tech options are less distracting, making them a better choice to complete a task.
Low-tech options allow you to be in the flow, think, create, and feel without distractions. Here are other options:
- Paper calendars, planners, and journals—out of sight, out of mind is accurate for many neurodivergents. Using one of these low-cost options over digital will keep your tasks and appointments in view, keep you off your devices, and keep you away from distractions.
- People should choose books over reading on their phones. Reading is about immersing yourself in another world, which is hard to do on a phone with notifications popping up.
- Pen and paper for writing to-do lists, rough drafts, or pro/con lists: Using these items will keep you undistracted and in the flow and will keep items in view.
- Analog alarm clocks: Your phone must be out of reach for these clocks to work. They work. When there is no backup alarm, getting up when it goes off is urgent.
- Whiteboards and bulletin boards: Keeping items visual.
- Alphasmart word processors: These devices only do word processing without distractions. Later, you can connect them to a laptop to download the documents into another document, like Word, where you can spell check and edit if needed.
- Time timers: These timers make time visual and urgent. And they don’t go dark like your phone can.
- In-person meetings, standing meetings, and walking meetings allow you to be present with the person you are with instead of being tempted to multitask during virtual meetings. And maybe some bonus movement outside!
- Office hours: people who work from home tend to work too much. Setting office hours will help separate work time from other life activities.
Relationships are healthier when we have firm boundaries and are intentional about them. This is true when we are talking about our mobile devices as well.
We want to be in the saddle as much as possible. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- How do I feel about my mobile device?
- How do I want to think about my mobile device?
- What is the function of my cell phone?
- What does it mean to be intentional about using my cell phone?
- If X is the function of my mobile device, what boundaries do I need to put in place?
If you want to change your relationship with your phone, these might offer you some support:
- Brick: The device allows you to leave distractions behind.
- Dumb phones, or at least not as smart.
- A timed safe—I have one client who puts his phone in a safe at 9 p.m. and can’t access it until 6 a.m.
Where will your relationship with your tech go from here?