Every year at this time, there are blogs and articles about surviving the holidays. This year, instead of coming up with a list of helpful hacks, I asked some clients what their best hacks were.
By far, the number one answer was rest and downtime. Getting enough sleep at night is essential for our brains to work to their fullest potential. They all agreed this was important but meant downtime when they answered my question. They defined downtime as time spent alone doing a favorite activity. I once had a client who whispered the word downtime. After some questions, she revealed that she felt guilty when she took downtime. Many people think taking downtime for themselves is selfish, undeserved, or something to feel guilty about. It is a paradox of being neurodivergent. They would tell someone they cared about that downtime is deserved and even courage for that person but still have trouble taking it themselves. As a gift to yourself, make a permission slip to take daily downtime, especially during the holidays.
Related to downtime, there was the suggestion of being picky about accepting invitations. You don’t owe it to anyone to go anywhere. You don’t owe anyone an explanation either; a simple “Unfortunately, I am not available” is enough of a reply. No one needs to know that what makes you unavailable is your PJs, a cup of hot chocolate, and a Christmas movie. Before accepting an invitation, consider if there will be someone you want to connect with or if the event is doing something you like or want to do. If the answer to both is no, that might be a no to that invitation. Another client limits the number of events within a week. Another hack is to drive yourself instead of carpooling so you can leave if you get overwhelmed or bored. Another client drives to keep herself from drinking, especially at social but work-related events.
My clients also say having healthy, nourishing food ready to go is a must this time of year when they are busier than usual. Some people make food in advance with a friend or loved one as a body double. Others make extra when regular cooking. Portion-sized freezer containers and water-soluble labels are a great way to store leftovers or prepared food for nights when you are too tired or just not in the mood to cook. When stored in the freezer, there is no need to worry about food going bad or to feel ashamed of wasting money.
As vital as nourishing the body is to nourish your soul. Nourishing the soul varies by person. For some, it will be attending religious services, praying, or meditating. For others, it is evaluating their year. And for others, it is spending time in nature. How can you make nourishing your soul accessible to where you are now?
Many of my clients can get overestimated. These are there suggestions for comfort:
- Loop earplugs: allow you to hear what is happening at a quieter level. They are great for performances, traveling, and noisy environments like restaurants.
- Weighted hoodies: are wearable weighted blankets. No one knows, and you get to feel calm and grounded.
- Calm Stripes: These strips are easy to hide in a cell phone case, and they allow you to rub or pick to keep your hands busy while keeping you present in conversations and calm in new situations.
- Time with pets: Pets are a huge comfort to everyone. During overbusy times, they and we need some dedicated time to relax or play together.
Here are my clients’ hacks again:
- Get enough sleep at night
- Give yourself downtime
- Be picky about accepting invitations to gatherings and parties
- Drive yourself
- Feed yourself both body and soul
- Use products for comfort, like loop earplugs, weighted hoodies, and calm strips.
- Spending time with your pet