Today many adult children are living at home. An agreement should be made in advance and in writing so that everyone is on the same page.
Here are some tips:
1. Write it down – I just said that but it is worth repeating. It should take everyone’s needs and desires into account, be realistic and ensures everyone is on the same page.
2. Write it together – if you want all parties to honor the agreement then all parties to take part in creating the agreement.
3. House rules – These should be specific and address at least the following:
- Drugs and Alcohol
- Curfew
- Guest – sleepovers, and parties
- Home security
- Setting for heating and air-conditioning
- Responsibilities – You aren’t the maid or cook so divide or share household chores.
- Yard work
- Cleaning shared spaces
- Care of pets
- Routine maintenance
- Cooking
4. Family life – Speaking of cooking, are you going to eat together? What meals? How often? Going to church? Together? Other activities? Avoid unnecessary hurt feelings and drama; spell it out in advance.
5. Help carry the load – Your not the bank. Your adult child should be contributing to the family. Figure out if they are paying rent? Medical cost? Insurance? Are the items covered under the homeowner’s policy or do they need renter’s insurance?
6. How long? – is this temporary? Or does your family enjoy a multigenerational home? If the agreement is three months or six, review it as the end date approaches. Do you need to renegotiate?
7. Consequences – what happens in the agreement is broken? It should be clear exactly what happens if there are violations.
8. All grown up – Respect that they are adults now. They moved home out of necessity and not to live in the ol’ days.
It is your house.
Talk about details and how daily life will work. Iron out everyone’s needs and wants before your adult child moves in.
