Motherhood is hard for all of us. There are so many expectations whether real or imagined. Many of these expectations we put on ourselves. Having ADHD can make motherhood both exciting and overwhelming.
What several factors are at play here:
- You are probably having trouble keeping track of your own life, emotions, belongs and time but odds you are doing it for your child(ren) also. If you are a mom (or a Dad) with ADHD, your children are more likely to have ADHD.
- ADHD doesn’t look the same in everyone. The diagnose in women is often missed until they are older or missed altogether. If you think you may have it, talk to your doctor.
- ADHD is often comorbid with other conditions. In women, it is often depression and/or anxiety which doesn’t help how you are feeling about yourself or about the job you are doing raising your children. Again talk to your doctor; get help is a good thing. It will make everyone’s life better.
- Medication is short acting even if it is the extended version; it is meant to last for a school or work day. But you aren’t just Mom from 9-5. If you work, your medicine probably wears off in time for your real job; parenting at night. Parenting after school until bedtime can be a roller coaster.
- Women are still primary caregivers in most home. No matter how enlightened we are as a society.
- Studies show that women are generally more understanding wives than men are understanding husbands about ADHD symptoms. If you are having problems, get counseling. Be specific with your partner about how your ADHD affects you and what you need from him.
Benefits for children who have Moms with ADHD:
- You have the ability to empathize with your children especially if they have ADHD too
- You create a loving environment for your children; your kids don’t care how clean the floors are
- You are likely to come up with creative solutions
What can help:
- A new frame of mind can do wonders. You are not Super Mom! No one is; I don’t care how put together they seem. I have been in tons of home-you would not believe the secrets others keep from the world.
- If more than one member of the family has ADHD, concern counseling as a family.
- Establish routines for morning, after school, night time-write them down and post them
- Be consistent especially when it is hard.
- Hire outside for chores that you have trouble getting done; grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, yardwork, tutors for you kids
- Use a color-coded calendar preferably that is posted where everyone can see it. I have one family that keeps it in the bathroom so each of them can see it while they brush their teeth.