Finding Beauty

Finding Beauty

True beauty, a rare and precious sight, can stop us in our tracks, leave us speechless, or bring tears to our eyes. We know it when we see it. We often remember those moments of witnessing true beauty.

Often perceived as elusive, beauty is a daily treasure waiting to be discovered or created. The sheer joy of finding beauty in the ordinary can uplift our spirits and inspire us to seek more, filling our lives with a sense of wonder and inspiration.

What makes the pursuit of beauty worth the effort?

It’s a profound and transformative power. Beauty has the potential to inspire, motivate, and bring hope, making our journey towards it genuinely worthwhile. It’s a beacon of light in the darkest of times, guiding us towards a brighter future.

  • Connections: We all want to be seen, known, and loved. To be seen, known, and loved, we need deep connections to share all of who we are. These connections are not just a part of life but a fertile ground for finding beauty. Sharing our lives creates more robust relationships, which makes life meaningful.
  • Love: Life is difficult at best without love. Love for others, animals, and nature feeds the soul. Finding a passion for beliefs, causes, hobbies, and careers is equally important to motivating us to move forward.
  • Change: Many of my clients don’t like change. However, change is the only constant. None of us know what the future holds. We can and should have hopes, dreams, plans, and goals, but we should also be open to change as it may lead us to something beautiful, authentic, and life-enriching.
  • Joy: Finding beauty anywhere often brings joy. Who doesn’t want my joy in their life?

Where to look for it?

  • Prayer: For many people, a relationship with a higher power is comforting. A strong prayer life can bring a sense of peace and calm when life might be anything but. For some, there is a beautiful ritual around prayer. For others, prayer might be more spontaneous. Prayer can reveal insights, lead us to change, or show us the path we seek.
  • Mindfulness: For many people, mindfulness, the state of active, open presence, allows them to observe their thoughts without judgment and deepen self-awareness. This awareness can lead to insights, actions to take, and a path forward.  
  • Relationships, be they with family, friends, or colleagues, are fertile grounds for finding beauty. The shared experiences, mutual support, and deep connections we form in these relationships make life more beautiful, connecting us and making us feel valued.
    • Helping Others: Offer help to someone who needs it. It can be as little as opening a door for a mom with many kids, mowing a neighbor’s lawn because they haven’t had time, or caring for a family member who can’t care for themselves. Offering help or jumping in without needing to be asked tells someone that you see them struggling and want to improve their life if you can.
    • Help, please: Asking for help can be challenging for neurodivergent people, but allowing someone to see your vulnerability is beautiful. It will enable them to support you, get you the help you need, and strengthen the bond between you.
    • Together, we can: Whether working on a team or passionately volunteering for a worthy cause, there is beauty to be seen and created in reaching a common goal with others.
    • Appreciate Differences: Everyone has a difference from you. Those differences make them who they are. Appreciating those differences reinforces a positive truth about them that they must acknowledge, too.  
  • Imperfections: It might seem strange to think there is beauty in imperfections, but there is. Nobody and nothing is perfect, and the world is filled with beautiful moments, actions, and things. Therefore, there must be beauty in imperfection. i.e., the toothless grin of a laughing child, an elderly couple walking hand and hand down a sidewalk, or a three-legged dog licking his owner’s face. These imperfections are not flaws but unique expressions of beauty.
  • Personal growth: Lifelong learning is vital for a whole life. Whether for school, career, or personal interest, curiosity and learning open our view about beliefs, other people, and much more, giving up more chances to create beauty.

How to find/create beauty?

  • Slow down to observe: People with ADHD and others move fast. Slowing down allows us to get curious and dive deep. That might sound like hyperfocusing, which you may be doing too, but that’s what I mean. I am encouraging you to look for beauty. Ask yourself questions to help you find beauty. i.e., how can I help someone today? What is beautiful about a specific person you love or don’t like? When we are looking for something we notice it more. Try going for a walk to listen to birds or looking for flowers. Then, think about beauty in your relationships and community.
  • Put aside self-criticisms: Neurodivergent people tend to ruminate over anything negative. When we hear a negative comment often, it becomes part of who we think we are. They aren’t always true, but sometimes they might be. Either way, we aren’t our actions, nor are we challenges. The fantastic thing about the brain is that it is neuroplastic—meaning it can grow and change. Growth is beautiful.
  • Practice Self-compassion: Treat yourself as you would treat a child or your mother. It is easier said than done. First, observe when you are not being self-compassionate. What is your story? Ask yourself, whose voice is telling that story? Is that story true? How do you know it is true? When you catch yourself, what are three things you can do?
  • Live by your values/being strengths: The VIA survey assesses your character strengths. These are being strenghts;  as in you wouldn’t be you if one was magically removed. Some people consider them values. Click here for the VIA survey. Life is better when we live by them.  
  • Make something
    • Create art: Even if you don’t consider yourself artistic, it is good for your brain. That is beauty. It can be any art—writing a song, painting, taking photos, making a collage, or drawing with chalk on a sidewalk.
    • Create art with someone: Collaboration in artwork makes something truly unique and beautiful. My daughter, who is disabled, and I collaborate. I draw in a sketchbook, and she colors the drawings. The colors or color combinations she chooses are rarely what I envision, but they come out great. Almost all music is created through collaboration, with one person writing the lyrics and another composing the music. Who could you collaborate with, and what would you create?
    • Share what you make: Whatever you make, sharing it with others expands its beauty. My daughter and I have filled four sketchbooks and are working on a fifth. For a long time, they sat on the coffee table in our den for anyone to pick up. They now sit on a bookshelf as accessible as the coffee table.
  • Show gratitude: Being grateful, keeping a gratitude journal, and telling someone you are thankful are all great. But showing gratitude is even better. I recently moved across the county, so I needed all the services I had in my old state. i.e., a hairstylist, a veterinarian, etc. I met a woman, who is now a friend and has lived in this area her whole life, while waiting at the DMV to get a new license, and as we were talking, she had a recommendation for everything I needed. She mentioned that she was moving locally. After unpacking many moving boxes, I realized she would like them. I saved boxes and moving paper, then delivered them to her as a thank you for all the recommendations she had given me.

Beauty is everywhere if you take time to appreciate it in life’s small, quiet moments.

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