The challenges that arise from executive function issues are the messy bits of everyday life.
Here is a list that may sound familiar and crosses the borders between work life and family life and personal care:
- Being easily frustrated
- Poor emotional control
- Difficulty with flexible thinking
- Following through with plans
- Trouble fully listening to others without thinking about other things
- Time management
- Trouble making plans because you don’t know how long anything takes you
- Trouble with prioritizing
- Trouble chunking out tasks
- Forgetting or just failing to finish tasks completely
- Trouble using a schedule
- Trying to do too many these on once
- Trouble leaving home on time
- Trouble making decisions
- Trouble with organization
- Losing important items like keys often
- Trouble with impulsive buying
- Trouble paying bills on time
- Trouble holding a good job
- And so on because everyone is different
I am writing this while sitting on the top floor of a beach house on a family vacation. We only get to see them once a year, so here we are. It is raining today; almost no one went down to the beach. On my way to my room, my daughter, who is neurodiverse, told me to write this blog about her. I think all of my blogs are a little bit about her, but sometimes I might be thinking more about one of my clients.
She is about to turn 23. In some ways, she is doing great. She was just promoted at work into management. She is thriving there because there are clear procedures, expectations, and accountability. Structure is helpful. She is taking college classes 2-3 per semester on her way to a paralegal associate’s degree. But is struggles with relationships, impulsivity (especially buying), and emotional control.
There are so many tools out there. It can be overwhelming.
For some people, low tech is better. A trusted notebook where everything is written down and dated works best. For others, it is a wall calendar in the bathroom to look at while brushing teeth in the morning. For those who do well with tech, texting themselves can be a great tool. For others, it is alerts from their calendar.
What I have found that works for the vast majority of my clients is to have a support team. Who is on your team? It could be anyone from family members to therapists and coaches to cleaning services. The first step to finding this team is awareness. Taking the time to evaluate how your day went.
- What went well – what made it successful?
- What could have gone better?
- What could make it better? How do you achieve that?
- Do you need to do that yourself? If no, find the right support. If yes, find a system.
- Be patient; it may take some trial and error.
A support team can keep you going when you are struggling, help you when you are stuck, and generally make life better. Everyone has a support team, whether they call them that or not. If you have one, use them if you don’t have one, build one.
