According to the article “Is ADHD Genetic? Yes and No, Experts Say” from ADDitude, Children with ADHD are four times more likely to have a family member with ADHD and one-third of fathers who have ADHD have children with ADHD.
There are particular traits among men with ADHD that make giving the type of support, encouragement, understanding and approval children need and want from their fathers which can make the father-child relationship difficult. Especially if the child also has ADHD.
You must first take of yourself before you can take care of others.
Here are some things to do or think about. You can take care of yourself and be a role model for your child.
- Make sure you are getting good treatment for your own ADHD. This means choosing and going to the right practitioner. You want to find a practitioner who can:
- Can diagnose you if needed (you want a practitioner who uses diagnostic interview and takes a lengthy history)
- Can determine in you have another diagnosis instead of ADHD or in addition to ADHD
- Is knowledgeable about treatment options.
- If you have decided to take medication, be honest with your doctor about how it is working, and when you are taking it. Talk about it with your child; especially if he/she has ADHD too.
- Create a healthy lifestyle for yourself and your family. Eating healthy and avoiding some foods can have an impact on your ADHD. Exercise is great for your ADHD. Talk openly with your child about why you make the choices you make. Go deeper than says eating healthy is important; talk about specifically what you feel inside your body or brain. Better yet cook dinner with him/her and exercise together.
- Working with an ADHD coach can be helpful.
- It is said that the best thing you can do for your children is to have a healthy marriage. If you are your child’s ADHD role model, nurture your marriage.
- Get support from local chapters of CHADD, Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), a men’s support group, as well as from parenting classes, books, and pamphlets.
What you can do for your child(ren):
- Love your child all of the time. Be consistent when showing your love to help build trust. Love your child because of who he/she is not what he/she accomplishes. There will be plenty of failures; this is when children need the most love. You want your child to feel he/she can come to you for any reason and at any time.
- Express your love. It’s not enough that you feel it, you need to tell your child, hug your child, give words of encouragement, give high-fives, pats on the back or anything else that let him/her know all the time that you love him/her.
- Spend time with your child. Play games, go for bike rides, eat meals – just regular daily activities can make great by doing them together.
- Don’t talk when you are emotionally charged. Calm down first. Both of you. Be aware of what gets you angry and have a plan for being able to calm down.
- Don’t make fun of your kid ever. Your child should be able to come to you for anything and feel safe in doing so.
- Teach your child skills. You should start teaching practical ones like how to cook, clean and do laundry early so that they become habits. But also other ones, to be a good listener, how to control impulses that mind end them up in trouble. Talk about what worked for you as a kid and what didn’t. Let him/her come up with what works for him/her. There will be some trial and error here so be patient too.
