In this blog my daughter, who has Asperger’s and ADHD, and I working together. We are currently on vacation. I thought it would be interesting to talk to her about ways to have a good day or manage anxiety. Here are her suggestions:
- Fidgets – If you find fidgets helpful, always have one with you. My daughter has loads of them but picks the one to use not just by what feels good in her hand but also by where it will be when she is using it. She likes to bring interconnected metal rings (aka flippy chain) to work. They are small enough to fit and play within the pocket of her apron.
- People break – People are exhausting to be around. She job requires her to work with the public. It is exhausting for her. When she gets home she always has a “people break” scheduled before she can interact with other friends or even family. The length of this break depends on the day.
- Stim in public – She says that people shouldn’t worry about what other people think or do/don’t understand about stimming. If you have a choice between looking normal or happy; choose to be happy.
- Hobbies – Hobbies are important to everyone. Engaging in a hobby makes people happy but for her, it is a way to escape into a safe world. My daughter like sharks and genealogy. She watches videos or reads books/articles about sharks. As well as advocates for sharks via social media. She also has an ancestry.com family tree. It is seven generations and growing.
- ASMR videos – This was a whole new world for me. I found them unpleasant to listen to but she swears it is a thing. My daughter likes the ones with slime. If you find them soothing then go for it.
- Being comfy – if you are sensitive to clothing or temperature like she is. Choose to be comfortable when you can be. My daughter needs to wear a uniform to work. She dislikes it because it is itchy so she changes into more comfortable clothes as soon as she can. She also prefers a cooler environment. She keeps her windows open when it is cool out and often uses a fan in her room even in the winter.
- Help! – If you can have someone who can help you calm down. She prefers to get herself to a manageable place first and then to text someone once she is a little calmer for support. If you have someone in-person be clear about what is and isn’t helpful.
- Quiet – Sometimes the world is just loud. If you become overwhelmed due to noise always, have an escape plan. My daughter will step outside or “hide” in the bathroom for a few minutes until she can be calmer.
- Block out the world – If music calms you down, use headphones to keep yourself calm. My daughter can’t wear them at work but uses headphones when walking to and from work. It also has the added bonus of people generally not engaging with you.
I hope you find her tips helpful. We enjoyed writing this together. I am sure you will be hearing more from her.
