Happy New Year! We all feel like we start off each new year with a clean slate but after a few weeks, we often fall back into old patterns. Why does this happen?
The internet will tell you things like too much change at once, believing you will fail before you start, not enough action, being in a hurry, not having support and not tracking your progress. I would agree with all of these but in addition, there is usually little thought to creating boundaries. Many people make resolutions or have hopes for being more organized (in fact, January is national get organized month) and managing their time better at the start of a new year.
One of my clients brought to my attention that the word boundaries sounds limiting. That’s okay – she and I changed the language we used to talk about the same concept. To me, setting boundaries frees me from having to make decisions in the moment because I have already thought about what I want either in my home or to do with my time. You can (and should) have boundaries for all aspects of your life both personal and professional. I am going to keep this blog to the concept of boundaries within organization and time management.
Organization:
It is important to have boundaries when organizing our home in order to able to find belongs when we need them. Here are some questions to think about:
- Is this item in the room where I use it the most? Items should be kept in the room you use them in. That can mean different things to different people, some people like everything put away in a drawer, or closet and some people don’t. That is fine but every item should have a specific location where it lives when not in use. Open containers are great!
- Who uses this item most? Do they have access to it? Maybe the item is shared by family members but your child uses it most. Can your child reach where it is kept? When my kids were growing up (my youngest is now 6 inches taller than I am), I kept health approved snacks where my kids could get themselves a snack without having to ask me.
- How much stuff do I need? Before you buy, do you really need it? I love blankets or I think I do but I always choose to use the same one I have used since I was eight. Everyone in the family has a favorite blanket. We may need an extra one or two for guests but I don’t need more than that.
- If I have a collection, how many of that item is enough? I collect hand carved and painted Russian Santas. They are contained to the mantel so once I have enough to fill it, I will either have to give away some if I want to bring in a new one or stop collecting them.
- If I have a collection, is it taking over your space? Which are the most meaningful to me and which can go? I once had a client who teacups all over her house. They had taken over. The boundary she sent was that teacups should go on the display cabinet in her kitchen. We slowly twiddled the collection down to that space; picking out the ones that gave her the best memories. She didn’t collect them anymore and gave many away to friends and relatives who had admired them in the past.
- Can I live without this item? The answer is usually yes.
- How does this item make my life better? I can live without my garlic mincer but I use it almost daily. It makes cooking so much more enjoyable. I can also live without my grandfather’s antique radio but seeing it reminds of the wonderful man he was.
- Does this item align with my values? Family history and relationships are important to me so many of the items that decorate my home are antiques that have been handed down to me. That is alignment.
Your answers will be unique to you. As a coach, I don’t give people answers, because everyone’s answer is unique to them. The point is to have a set of boundaries to live by. Visual clutter is overwhelming even when you don’t know that it is affecting us. One of my clients told me he felt so light after organizing his workspace which he agreed to do for someone else’s benefit but he ended up getting the most from the experience.
Time management:
We all need downtime to restore ourselves that may actually be 5 minutes of looking at Facebook for you but it may also be 5 minutes of mediations.
Here are some questions to think about:
- What do I want to accomplish by the end of the day, week, month, year? Set benchmark goal in order to get to a bigger goal. If your goal is I want to run a marathon in a year but you don’t run now. What are those smaller steps? So maybe today I find someone to do it with me or hire a trainer. By the end of this week, I want to be about the run a mile and walk four. By the end of the month, I want to be able to run 5 miles. And so on.
- What do I need to do to reach that goal? Make a list, step by step even if they are small steps. Use action words like call…, buy…,reply to…, write my… , etc.
- How do I break that goal down into doable actions? Maybe you don’t know how to break it down. Talk to a friend, a coach, or a family member.
- Does what I am doing make me feel good? If you lose yourself in your phone or on the computer and then feel bad about “wasting” that time, you aren’t doing something that makes you feel good. Plan your time. Work blocks are great. They don’t have to be set in stone. It is fine to set an hour work block that is free time. You just don’t want your whole day to be unplanned. If you have trouble with this find an accountability partner.
- Does this action move me forward in my goal? Evaluate your progress on a schedule: daily, weekly – whatever makes sense for you. What did I do? Do my next steps still make sense?
- Do my actions align with my goals, values, and needs? Part of my job is to notice inconsistencies. If I have a client who told me a value of his was education but he started skipping classes, I am going to point that out to help him remember whom he wants to be. If being happy is a value but he is spending time with friends that don’t support him, I am going to point that out too. There is self-evaluation here too. If I noticed I was doing busy work that didn’t move me forward, I would make certain I got the action I was procrastinating on at the top of my to-do list for the next day or I would tell someone my intention and ask them to check on me.
Again answers will be unique to you. The point is that you should not have to decide every morning what I am going to do today because you should already have those boundaries about whom you want to be and how you want to spend your time in place. Actions ready do speak louder than words.